The Tin Man and the Scarecrow
by JolinarLunar
Summary: Pansy Parkinson and Neville Longbottom get together. evil laughter Please read and review. Remeber the title: one needs a heart, the other needs a brain.
1. The Dare

Disclaimer: Due to the unusual cruelties of fate, I own nothing from the original Harry Potter series. This is my disclaimer for all the chapters, because I _really_ don't feel like writting it over and over and over again.

Author's Notes: Yes, I know, it's really short. But this chapter is just to get it out there.

**Chapter One**

**The Dare**

Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabinni, and Autumn Gregori were sitting in the Slytherin common room playing an innocent game of Truth-or-Dare. Draco, being the insuffereable little git that we all know and love, was laughing evily as he listened to Pansy sputter about the outrageous dare he had just given her.

"I absolutely will not!" Pansy yelled at the top of her lungs. "Hell will freeze over and Potty and the Weasel will join the ballet before I do something that disgusting!"

"But it _was_ a dare," Malfoy pointed out in a tone so happy that it should have been made illegal, "and you have no choice but to go through with it."

"But how in hell am I supposed to consider this disgrace that I _love_ him?"

"That is something for you to figure out all on your little onesy," Draco said with relish. "Anyway, I think we should wrap this up for tonight."

"Yeah," everyone but Pansy agreed through tears of laughter at Pansy's sorry plight.

Pansy shot them all the look of death.

"Goodnight, Pansy," they all said in innocent voices as they left her in the common room by herself.

Pansy couldn't believe that all of the people that Draco could have picked it had to be a Gryffindor. And not just any Gryffindor. He had to pick the sorriest one (next to Potty, of course): Neville Longbottom.

Author's Notes: Well, isn't that just the kind of thing in life that make you shudder? The true reason for me writting this story, though I have heard it been called a horror flick by my friends, is because I needed a challenge. And I ask you: _What_ could possibly be more challenging than putting Pansy and Neville together. **_'You can stop with the gagging noises now. And pick your jaw up off the floor. Don't let your mouth hang open. Trust me, you'll look smarter.'_** I know, you're all probably living under that harsh notion that Pansy will probably chew poor Neville up and spit him out, but ya know, in my twisted little mind (and probably in mine alone when it comes down to it) I think this relationship has real possibilities! Please R&R. I am really intersted in what my audience thinks. Until next chapter.


	2. Experimental Potions Club's Test Subject

**Chapter Two**

**Experimental Potions Club's Test Subject**

Pansy sat in potions two seats to the right of Draco. She was paying absolutely no attention to Professor Snape's lecture on the Polyjuice Potion. This fact didn't concern her at all. She was, after all, a Slytherin, and could get away with whatever she wanted in this class. Instead, she spent most of her time alternately glancing at Neville every few minutes and wondering how she would convince him that she had interests in him beyond those of pounding him into oblivion.

Pansy stole al brief look at Draco, wondering why he was doing this too her. Did he think so little of her as to believe that she should be with Neville? At the thought she suddenly felt about as low and inadequate as Harry Potter must feel every time he looked in the mirror.

She shook her head to clear her mind. She would show everyone that she could do this. She would prove that she could do whatever challenge Draco threw in her path.

After class Pansy had already planned her first step. She knew that first she had to get his attention, so after the classroom had emptied she caught up with Neville before he reached the other Gryffyndors. As she walked by she brushed against his body suggestively.

"Hi, sexy," she whispered to him.

Neville gave an impressive imitation on Mrs. Norris when she had been petrified before letting out a sqeak and fainting right on the spot.

Draco, Blaise, and Mallicent, who had been watching from a few feet away, were helpless with laughter. A few Gryffindors came back to help their fallen comrade, glaring at Pansy as they dragged him away.

_Pathetic_, Pansy thought as she frowned. She figured that she would have to be a little more subtle next time.

:8::8::8:

Neville sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall during supper trying valiantly not to cringe every time he felt Pansy's gaze brush over him. He had been feeling completely out of sorts after the incident before lunch. Was he going mad? Or was Pansy a test subject for the Experimental Potions Club again?

Neville shuddered. Being the object of Pansy's attention was not exactly something he had always dreamed of. Neither was having Pansy make a pass at him. Nothing good could possibly come of it. Sighing, he decided that it would be best to get to Gryffindor Tower before everyone was finished with dinner.

Pansy watched as Neville stood from his seat and left the Great Hall. Malfoy gave her an encouraging look, prompting her into action. She slowly stood and left the Hall, receiving glares from Gryffindors as she passed.

:8::8::8:

She saw Neville just as he turned the corner to the right. She hurried after him, cursing to herself.

"Hey, Long- I mean, Neville!" she called out. Neville stopped but it was a moment before he could bring himself to turn around and face her.

"H-H-Hello, Parkinson," Neville managed, not exactly looking her in the eye.

"Call me Pansy," she managed to respond without cringing. "Listen, I wanted to apologize for the scare I gave you earlier." She smiled at him, mostly because she realized that this was the first time she had ever apologized to someone in her life.

Neville looked at her then, ignoring the urge to laugh openly at her for fear of his miserable little life. Instead he nodded.

"It's okay," he said as he turned to leave.

"Wait, Neville," Pansy blurted, at a loss for words. How was she going to get herself to do this?

When Pansy didn't speak Neville shuffled his feet uncomfortably, wondering if she was deciding what hex to use on him.

"Will you go out with me?"

Neville wasn't sure he'd heard her right.

"Pardon?"

"A date, Neville, would you like to go on a date?" she forced herself to say.

"Uhhhh... I don't know, I don't think that would be a good idea, Pansy," Neville said, backing away from her as though he thought she might attack him any minute.

"Please, Neville," she pleaded, trying to sound sincere as she followed him.

"I... um... I-"

"I really want to go out with out, Neville, this isn't a joke. Just give me a chance."

"Are you sre you don't need to go to the Hospital Wing?" he dared to ask.

"Neville!"

"Well... okay. Sure."

"Really? Excellent!" Pansy said, her face lighting up. "How about this Saturday night?"

"Er... okay."

"Great. I'll meet you down by the Great Hall at around nine o'clock."

"Yeah," Neville agreed, ceasing his retreat.

"See you then," Pansy said before heading back to finish dinner.

Neville stood there for a moment in stunned silence for moment before turning and making a dead run for Gryffindor Tower.


End file.
